Destiny Takes You This Far...

Time: 13.16pm.

It's pouring outside. I can clearly see the big fat raindrops from the window next to me. It's kinda cold here but I can hug my red cushion tightly and be comforted with a hot cup of cereal.

I like weathers like these. Especially when you're indoors... It seems as though you're sheltered from the storm outside and there's this sense of sercurity and comfort. The sun is not glaring and burning at your skin, the clouds are a nice shade of blue-grey. It's one of the days when you will easily feel down but somehow, for me, it makes me feel ... secured.

I watched Leap Years yesterday. I thought I would cry buckets over it...but surprisingly, I didn't. i think it's a nice movie, but it doesn't make me feel for the characters as much as I wish I had. But there were several details in the movie that made me think hard about love and life.

The lead actress is someone who has been waiting for the 'mystery lover' all her life. She believes that there is this special someone in her life and she's seeking for him. When she thinks she found him, she kind of shuts off every other suitors in her life, fully devoting herself to that one love, someone whom she only met once in her life. The lead actor said that she's brave, because she's not like other people who are afraid of loneliness and will end up in the wrong relationship, one after another.

I'm like the actress, 'cos I am old-fashioned in that sense. I also believe we are all seeking for that one special person, so my heart can never quite open up to others. It's not that I don't give others a chance...its just that I don't want anyone to get hurt in the end. I don't want to hurt other people, and most importantly, I don't want to get myself hurt. So I'm not brave. I immense myself in my work and school so I never have to worry about companionship. I'm just a little coward, who's afraid to cut open her heart to put someone inside.

The last time I thought I met the right person was almost 5 years ago. He was funny, kind, adventurous and very much like me in every other way. He loved the things I do, he did the things I used to do. We talked so much that we became dependent on each other...but I believe destiny only takes you this far..in the end, it's up to 2 individuals how they want to move from there. Almost overnight, what we shared and had just dissipated.

I thought he was perfect..but in reality, he wasn't. And that taught me something. There is not a person who is perfect in this world. But the person that we're all seeking for is that one person whom we see his flaws, understand his imperfections, spot his weaknesses...and still can't live without him. You don't expect a person to change for you...you embrace what he/she is. Maybe all along, I've never really been looking, I just let nature takes its course, and hands my fate on a plate to destiny.

Life is such.