One Time Too Many

TIme: 12.20am
Location: In the comfort of my bedroom, surfing http://youthstarcambodia.org/ and contemplating about doing volunteer work for good in Cambodia when I should be completing my assignment for school tomorrow.

It's been quite a hectic week for me. I don't usually get personal in my blog....but there's been a lot of last minute shockers and disappointments and I'm still hanging in there...trying my best to make things work.

I'm a little drained... but I know I'm not the only one.

When do reasons become excuses? Many a time, people give reasons for something that happened, trying to rectify the problem / issue. But how many of these 'reasons' are actually excuses?

Sometimes, people have the tendency to find excuses to redeem themselves and usually, I'm not awfully bothered by it. I just find it amusing, and try to let it pass as another typical things that people do to put things right.

But sometimes, when it happens too often, the case of 'The Boy Who Cries Wolf' starts popping in my mind. Of course I am fully aware that people want to protect themselves and thus, usually unknowingly, start to find 'reasons' to rectify the problems that they are facing. However, when these 'reasons' appear one time too many, others get weary and simply - put-off.

Why is it so difficult to just say, 'I'm sorry, it was my fault?' and try to make sure it doesn't occur again? Honestly, people are not too concerned about the reason (or excuses) behind why the error occurred...so please...stop making excuses....

It's a 'Beauty World' out there

Time: 11.26pm
Location: Bedroom

I've now at my worst procrastinator state ever. I've missed gym for 3 days 'cos I was plain lazy to get my fat bum out of bed. I'm suppose to be typing vigorously at my assignment but I'm typing on my blog. I'm suppose to be cleaning up my room for CNY but I'm taking naps.

Isn't that terrible? I can imagine myself morphing into a potato already. And just when I started to get my arse down to unpack my recent shopping bags, I spotted a discount card which has since expired (on jan 15th)... and I'm cussing myself for not unpacking my stuffs earlier...

I promise to get back to typing my PR assignment once I finish this entry! Really!

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'Beauty World...cha-cha-cha' has been ringing in my head since Wednesday. My boss gave us a treat to catch the musical, Beauty World, at the esplanade. It's my first musical ever at the esplanade. I've only watched plays at Victoria Theater or Jubilee Hall, but never at the esplanade. You can imagine I was in awe at the sight of the luxurious theater, with balcony-like structures and lush carpets. That's where all tax-payers money goes to.

Anyway, the musical was wonderful...I can never understand how my dear colleague can fall asleep at the midst of the show... (!?!?...hahaha)

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A lot has been going on recently at work, but I've hardly had time to digest everything. You see, my student's mom has been asking me to give extra lessons to the little one, so I'm practically giving tuition every alternate day, and on Saturdays and Sundays.. I realized how little time I have for myself. One of my main resolutions of 2008 is to get my bike license..and at the rate I'm going, I doubt I'll even have time to read through the theory booklets.

Therefore, I've made up my mind to give up my student of 3 and a half yrs come March. It's going to be a tough decision, as I've grown very close to her and her family. I practically watch her younger brother grow up. He was such a pesky little one when he was three... and now he's in Primary One. Time just whiz pass before one realizes it.

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This thing called Facebook is taking the world by storm..and I still don't get it. I know it's fun with all the witty applications and stuffs..but maybe 'cos I don't really have time to explore it, thus I get a little annoyed by all the 'pokes' people are sending.

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I MUST SAVE MORE! I MUST SAVE MORE!

This retail therapy bug has bitten me since X'mas and I haven't been stopping since. This is terrible... argh!

Ok, back to work now. Sigh...

Drained...

Time: 8.33pm
Location: In my room

Retail therapy always works for me. I bought a vintage bag from Deja Vu this afternoon. I've been very tired..and I know that I only have myself to blame.

My mom says I'm too much like her, that we tend to take on too much responsibilities, and usually, we wear ourselves out. She told me to be less strong-headed and to try to ask for help at times. But most of the time, when I do ask for help, they usually don't come at the right time, or when I needed them...and I eventually find that its easier and faster for me to do things on my own.

With school, work and tuition all happening at one time, and with only 24 hrs a day, I feel weary. It's almost as if I've aged overnight. In fact, shortly after Jen's wedding, I was forgetting things which I shouldn't have forgotten. It's almost like I'm suffering the post-natal memory loss blues.

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Have you ever wanted to know about something really badly, but upon finding out the truth, the answer is not what you had hoped for, and you find your world slowly crumbling bit by bit, almost burying you alive?

I'm a Scorpio, and Scorpios are known to be the 'investigators'. I have a lot of secrets of my own and for some reason, other people seem to let me know their secrets too, which I never divulge. Secrets are meant to be kept, that's why they're called secrets.

However, this little secret that I found out...hurts me really bad. It somehow bothers me that I've finally found out the truth, and I don't know how to handle it. I wished I had never knew and maybe, just maybe, I'd still be jovial and ignorant about the whole issue.. but now...Now, I do not know how to react, nor how can I resolve it. It honestly needs no solution to begin with, but I somehow felt that I want to put things right. But it's normally not within my abilities.

Which is why I turn to therapy... retail therapy always helps.

Cambodian Diary Last Day

Day 4

Rachel and I woke up relatively early to catch our flight at around 7am. Sophal was already there to pick us up. We left Cambodia with a heavy heart, simply because we've grown to love this place. The people, though poor, were generous and kind. Though there were some who had other intentions, were simply driven by poverty.

I'm quite certain that I'd be visiting Cambodia in time to come. The smiles of the children are enough to make me go back there...

My Cambodian Diary Part 3

Day 3

Today's officially our last day to sightseeing in Cambodia. We woke up relatively later and had breakfast. I had banana pancake with baguette, which is one of the common foods around there. Think I heard someone mentioned before that it's because Cambodia was under French ruling for a while...


Anyway, a simple breakfast like this is about USD2. After breakfast, we were on our way to Banteay Srei. It has very elaborate carvings and it looked distinctively different from the other temples we've visited. The walls are much redder and the carvings, I feel, though elaborate, seems harsher. (I did a search on wikipedia.org and it's because the buildings are made of red sandstones that can be carved like wood...oooo)

Here's the pictures to judge for yourself :)

What happens afterwards is going to be one of the most memorable period in my life.

Sophal stopped by the side of the road for us to buy some local produce. It's actually palm tree candy and the palm trees grow outside the houses of the occupants. We were just trying out the candies and there I go again, giving out my own candies to the kids, when I noticed this little boy with a wound on his foot.
His mom said that he had a fall but it looked more like he was ran over by something. The wound was so big that there was a gaping hole in it. Any child in Singapore would've been wailing in pain by then, but this little boy of 4, was just peddling around in his bicycle. The mom said that she didn't have any money to bring him to the hospital so me and Rachel gave her some money each. Their house was for 7 people and it was very small, about the size of one-and-a-half parking lots, and needless to say, it was sparsely furnished.

After buying the candies, we were getting ready to head off to some other place but there was this nagging feeling in my heart. Whilst on the Tuk-tuk, I turned to ask Rachel how much does she think seeing a doctor would cost there. We then decided to turn around and bring him to the hospital. Sophal was very glad we did that. When we went back, his aunt was shocked to see us, and we found the little boy, playing in a swamp at the back of his house...

We told the Mother our intentions and she came along with us to bring him to the hospital. Sophal said the hotel actually called to say that we would need to pay extra for that, but we really couldn't be bothered.

Throughout the ride, the boy was very quiet and well-behaved. He only let out a shriek of delight when he saw cardboard cut-outs of animals along the road. Villagers who saw us bringing him to the hospital also smiled and waved to us. Suddenly, I was doing an 'Angelina Jolie' there. Hahaha...

At the hospital, which looked more like a clinic, the boy was very quiet when the doctor applied medication for him. He didn't even whinced when iodine was poured to the wound. He only cried when the doctor gave him an injection. And even then, he stopped when his Mom told him not to cry. I haven't seen such a well-behaved kid in ages.

The little girl in the picture is his cousin. Her name Taa, which means 'Gold'.

I gave out some more candies to the children at the clinic and they too, returned my kindness by offering me their food, which was actually charred corn.

The doctor bandaged his foot up and it cost only USD10. Whilst on the way back to his home, he actually feel asleep on my shoulder. :)

After bidding the family farewell, we stopped over to have lunch at this restaurant. And it was there that I kind of 'confronted' Sophal. You see, we had to pay him a fee for the days he drove us around and the rates were already stated by the guesthouse. I never read anywhere before that we had to top up for petrol or for the driver's food. However, during the course of 3 days, we have been paying his petrol (which ranges from USD1 to USD4) and his meals. At one of the kiosks, I actually witnessed another driver paying his own petrol.

While Sophal was dining with us, I actually asked him if he had been lying to us. He was flustered, and looked guilty and tried to cover up by saying that we're nice people, and that there were nasty people around who didn't care about the welfares of the drivers. He even said that he once had a passenger from USA who tipped him USD40 but there were also others who didn't tipped him at all.

I was angry at him honestly. Yes, he was just trying to earn that little bit extra but I felt that he could've been honest with us. I actually said that we may not be rich, but if he had been honest with us, we could have given him a bigger tip. However, after this incident, I highly doubt we'll tip him much. He apologised profusely but I guess the damage had been done.

I actually felt guilty for scolding him afterwards and Rachel thought I was too gung-ho by reprimanding him in his own country... I could've been dragged and killed in some corner ya? But I think that no matter what, despite the poverty and all, we should have integrity right? (Ok, despite me mentioning about willing to steal landmines to feed my family...I still think he shouldn't have lied la!)

On our way back, I took a picture of this young boy who was trying to sell us his postcards. I gave him a pen and look at the smile on his face. So charming hor?

We asked Sophal to drop us off at the market place so we can venture on by ourselves. He still seemed very upset after the prep-talk I gave him, but we just paid him the amount (we only tipped him USD5) and walked off by ourselves. At the market place, we spotted many stalls selling books, like Lonely Planet for USD5. Earlier on at Bantaey Srei, we bought a book for USD9, and when the boy turned around with his earnings, he was beaming and cheering. Rachel simply said, "I think he must've earned a lot from us."

Anyway, we walked around their market place hoping to buy some stuffs back, but all we could find were scarves. Some owners were nicer but there were a few, who probably were sick of tourists, were extremely rude. Like there was one who wanted to sell us one scarf for USD5 and when I expressed surprise at the price, she merely muttered "If too expensive, nothing for you to see here already."

I thought that was very foolish of her. Please...the whole market sells scarves, if you're going to be rude, what makes you think I'd buy from you!? Anyway, we bought a couple of scarves from another seller and also walked around their wet market. It's a very interesting experience actually...almost like visiting Singapore's wet market in 1970s. We chanced upon this manicure salon and had our manicures + pedicures done there for USD3! The manicurists are like experts and are so skillful I even took a video of them doing the manicure and pedicures for us.

Afterwards, we walked around and settled down at this Bubble Tea cafe. They sells vintage dresses upstairs and I bought one for USD5, whilst Rachel bought a bag. We even ordered cheese fries (SINFUL) and wanton soup, complete with bubble teas and a game of 'JINGA'.

End of Day 3! Going home tomorrow!

My Cambodia Diary Part 3

(Sorry for the lag in posting...been darn busy...oh, Happy 2008!)

It was at Preah Khan that I bet the cute children whom I gave my 'Snap Me' button to. After we lost sight of our driver, Rachel and I ventured on our own and finally waited for him at a small coffee store at the entrance of the temple. Having awaken at 5am for the sunrise, we were famished by 11am, so we ordered stir-fried chicken and pineapple. A simple meal like this cost about $2-$3 Sing dollars...

Sophal seemed upset that we kind of 'abandoned' him in the temple...but honestly, it was much more adventurous and both Rachel and I felt more at ease without him around. He has been nice and everything, but I guess he doesn't know when to stop filming us... He constantly whipped out his handphone to take pictures and videos of us that we felt a little...violated.

After Preah Khan, we headed to Prasat Neak Peen, the reservoir, which I mentioned in an earlier post. Here's some pictures!


They have 4 sculptures at all directors, namely one of lion, a serpent, an elephant and a human. The water supposedly flows out of the mouths of the sculptures.



Now what's really cool are the works of nature we spotted there. Check out this huge tree growing around the temple. If I'm not wrong, this is Mebond Temple (provided Sophal gave me the correct spelling of the temple...heh)

We then set off to see Bre Rob Temple, which is actually a crematorium (I eavesdropped on the guide next to us). Rachel's overwhelmed by the steps we had to climb up so she rested at the bottom of the temple whilst I ventured up myself. It's basically a couple of pagoda shaped strutures which served as a crematorium. I guess after 2 days of temples, they kind of look the same... :p

Here's where we spotted lovely little Kevin! Those big round eyes charmed Rachel and me completely.


We headed for the floating village with much anticipation. We thought that it'll be similar to the floating villages we've heard so much in Thailand..but we were deeply disappointed. When we reached the dock, we had to pay USD12 for the boat. (12 for each of us, which makes the trip USD24, when initially Sophal told us was only going to be 10) We bargained a little and they claimed that as the boat has to take only 2 persons, it has to cost more. Since we've already travelled so far, it doesn't make sense to turn back. A Filipino guy who arrived shortly after us was quoted USD20 (as he's alone) and when he joined our boat, he's charged USD12 too. Well, you would think that after charging tourists such exorbitant prices, there would be much to see at the village right? See for yourself...

All we saw were run-down houses by the bank of the river and lots of beggars... and I mean lots. Those merchants with wares to sell were basically selling bananas and drinks. The poorer ones were just paddling around in tubs begging for money from tourists in passing boats. The waters were murky and there were shrubs growing around, it was virtually impossible to even see what's underneathe it. Our boatman, an elderly man who's very quiet, stopped his boat in the middle of the river (which almost looked like a big sea to me) and before we realised it, many merchants were rolling their boats up to ours and asking us to buy something. There were only 3 of us in the boat and I figured that the boatman was definitely not going anywhere if we don't buy something...so I gave in and bought a bottle of mineral water. This little girl with the snake freaked us out for a bit when she almost climbed on board...

I gave the water to the boatman who looked really appreciative and he offered to show us crocodiles for free. Yes! Finally, something's free around here :)

We saw more beggar children paddling around the souvenir shop where the crocodiles were kept. We heard someone said that the crocs were fed only once every 2 weeks... poor crocodiles. One little girl of about three-four had red hair and Caucasian looks, and I really felt bad about not buying stuffs from her. She too, had a snake around her neck and she cried when we left. I wasn't quick enough to take a picture of her..wish I had though, 'cos she's really beautiful.

What really angered me and Rachel was that after charging tourists so much money to visit this place, the authorities are not doing anything to improve it. I'm not angry that I felt ripped off, but angry that the huge amount of money is not going anywhere in helping to improve the lifes of the people.


Sophal drove us to this quaint little home restaurant where we experienced their local culture in a way. We were seated on this straw mats with hammocks to lie down on (if we wanted to) and restaurant is perched on wooden stilts above the waters. Sophal ordered chicken steamboat and the rice was free-flow. The soup tasted very much like our salted-vegetable with duck soup, except that there's hardly any meat in it...but plenty of chicken bones. But we're not complaining.. it costs only about USD 5 or so for 3 persons. They even had a karaoke system there which the locals would come and sing during weekends. I also took pictures of the kids of the owner.



By 4pm, we were bushed and we really didn't want to see anymore temples for the day, so Sophal recommended a cultural village or the war museum. Of course we chose the war museum! The entrance cost us USD3 each but it gave us an insight of the lives of Cambodians who've suffered because of the war.

The guide service was complimentary and our guide was this ex-soldier who've lost his eye and leg during the war. Several times, he mentioned about the death of his wife who was killed by a landmine in 2002. It really broke my heart to see how he had to suffer because of the greed and foolishness of mankind.




Apart from machineries used during the war, there were also pictures of victims of landmines. Some were as young as 4-5 and they've already lost their limbs. Rachel mentioned that after returning to Singapore, her hairstylist actually said that we shouldn't pity some of the victims as they were only there to dig out landmines to sell, and thus, resulting in their misfortunes. In other words, they had only themselves to blame. I totally disagree. Poverty makes people do things that they can't control. If stealing landmines can feed your starving family, I'd do it too, even if it means risking my life. Our guide (I wrote his name somewhere..and now I can't find it:( ) also has a daughter, who is about 7 or so. He mentioned that he has only just learnt English to do this job but he has to leave soon as his failing eyesight in the other eye is giving him a lot of problem. As a token of appreciation, both me and Rachel gave me USD1 each.

Sophal drove us back to the guesthouse where we took a short rest and headed to Dead Fish Tower. It's actually a very cool restaurant with live-band performance. An open-concept restaurant and when I say 'open', I really mean 'open'. There's no walls around it and waiters take your orders and slide it down this fishing line. They too, had a crocodile in the restaurant, but it hardly moved, and Rachel kept thinking it's a fake one. After a meal of grilled eel with rice and lemonade, we ventured around the market place for a while longer before settling for dessert at Blue Pumpkin.





There ya go! End of Day 2!